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Writer's pictureAriel Bland

Event or Lifestyle?

I had always dreamed of the day that I could put on my 'white' dress, have my dad walk me down the aisle, become someone's Mrs, all while everyone was in awe of me. I was so busy planning the event that I wasn't preparing for the lifestyle.




By the time I was married the only examples of marriage were that of my paternal grandparents who were married for 50 years, my parents who were married 30 years, and the TV wives from ROC, The Cosby Show, Martin, and Everybody Hates Chris. Believe me the comparisons did not compare. What I experienced in my own marriage was way different than anything I could have imagined. I found out that marriage can be ugly and down right dirty. Please don't mistake the beautiful side of marriage I'm just speaking on my experience. Marriage is loving someone even when you dont like them. It's a relationship that you need the government to break. It's filled with prayers, cussings, laughter, tears of joy and of sorrow, but if you love the person you're doing life with, then it's all worth the hassle.




Before the wedding I got all sorts of advice on what to do and what to expect. "Put God first" (That's a given), "Make that man feel like the king of his castle" (What about me as a queen?) oh and this is my absolute 'favorite' piece of advice, "Never go to bed angry" *insert eye roll*. I'm not proud to admit that I've went to bed pissed off a time or two or twenty, but when you're married then you know what I'm talking about.


What has marriage taught me in all these years? It's a lifestyle not to be confused with the event and only the marriages with strong foundations will last. Everyone wants the event but how many are really ready for the lifestyle?



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