Growing up I felt like I needed to be accepted in order to feel validated. Always searching for approval from my family, friends, coworkers, and relationships alike. It's an insecurity that I've always struggled with, but one of many that I'm currently working on. I know most people will look with blinders on and assume that I have it all together, but in actuality, sometimes I just don't.
Childhood relationships didn't go as planned and caused some of my sheepish ways.
Teenage years was where I was trying to find myself (Truth be told, I'm still looking). There were periods during this time that if it had not been for the strict lock and key my parents kept over me, I probably wouldn't be where I am today. Thanks Ma and Da'. You literally saved my life.
Adulthood? I'm still on this journey and I'm yet to find the straight and narrow path, but I'm trying.
Most people that take the time to know me will eventually look at me and tell me how much of a "beautiful" spirit they think I am. I usually smile and say, "Thank You" not really believing that they can see all that well. I mean to look at little old me and correlate Ariel with Beautiful? Poppycock! While I am always appreciative of compliments I often think back on a conversation I had with my husband. I still don't think he fully understands the depth of this thing (SURPRISE!). I remember telling him once or twice, that I could have a thousand people tell me how beautiful they thought I was, but it didn't mean a thing if I couldn't hear those words from him. Acceptance Needed.
A conversation with my sister right after blog launch on how I felt like I wasn't getting support from certain people lead to her not so subtle response that gave me a quick kick in the butt, "Stop expecting something you may never get and keep doing what you're doing". Acceptance Needed: Noted sister.
I'm slowly realizing that the acceptance that I've been searching for has to start and stop with me. I can't keep looking to people to validate my life. Starting today, right now I am stamping myself ACCEPTED, because that's what I deserve. If I always live my life holding my breath waiting to be accepted by everyone that I meet, then eventually I'll suffocate the plans that the universe has for me. I ACCEPT ME for ME.